Content Leg Terminators
Just a note: I was amazed that “leg terminator” was given as a definition for “foot”.
I received a telegram only moments ago from my good friend Lord Maurits Cerbishly.
Dear Robert,
A good start, I felt.
Do you have any idea if penguins tap-dance? And, if so, do they also while away the hours singing 1970s pop songs in a Latino accent?
Yours faithfully,
Lord Maurits Cerbishly.
I didn’t think it fair to reply complaining about his use of faithfully as opposed to the generally accepted sincerely, as the message was started with my name. I therefore proceeded directly to the following message, relayed by my most reliable of carrier pigeons, Speckled Jim.
Greetings Lord Cerbishly,
How is the weather in Dungeness? Yes, I do have an idea as to whether penguins tap dance. Thank you for taking an interest in my random fact collecting. I am assuming that you would like to know what my idea is, and also a response to your second question.
I have never personally seen a penguin tap-dance, and indeed there are no official records of tap-dancing penguins. As far as I can tell a penguin has also never entered an official tap-dancing competition. However, research published in the year 2000 stated that penguins waddle to get a lot of force down onto the ground quickly, as they have very short legs. Not only does this explain why Freddie waddles, it also means that penguins would make quite good tap dancers, as tap dancers need to put a lot of force down relatively quickly. I must advise, on the grounds of health and safety, that you purchase much larger taps if you intend to allow Antarctic birds to dance on them. Also, avoid filling the sink with hot water while your penguin improves its skills.
As for the singing of 70s pop songs in a Latino accent, the accent can easily be explained. Brazillian authorties and charities regularly air lift slightly lost penguins back to the Antarctic (or the Galapagos Islands, depending on the species of penguin). I am not entirely sure whether they just start throwing penguins at a large ice sheet, or if they equip them with parachutes and hope they know how to skydive. Obviously their time in Brazil would cause them to adopt the somewhat strong accent quite rapidly. Oddly, no number one hits in the UK during the 70s had anything to do with penguins, and I am pretty certain that the Antarctic is relatively limited in musical talent. I am therefore unfortunately unable to come to a logical conclusion as to whether penguins sing 1970s pop songs, but if they did it is very likely that a certain section of the Penguin United Choir would indeed have a Latino accent.
Yours sincerely,
Robert Valkass Esq.
I am yet to receive a reply. Or my pigeon for that matter.