Schools Out For… Winter?
Today my school was closed becuase someone broke the heating and therefore it was too cold for us to be there! The first really practical use for health and safety legislation. This has led to me having an unexpected day off, which is nice. I have had time to follow Dan up on his idea for a flying pub, and have created this artist’s impression:
There are various practical implications, however. Firstly, inebriate perambulators emerging from the establishment are unlikely to notice the perilous drop that awaits them. Also, the extra turbulence of flying can only lead to people being even more incapable of keeping their food and drink down, and therefore cleaning costs are likely to be astronomical. Furthermore, deliveries of beer could be quite tricky in mid air; the barrels are likely to roll away. The construction of some sort of cage would probably be necessary to ensure the stock does not travel 30-odd thousand feet downwards rather rapidly. Taxis may also prove difficult to flag down at the probable altitudes. Bungee-jumping llamas and alpacas could be a possible solution to this problem, to transport people to the ground where it is far easier to hail a cab (speaking form personal experience).
Some advantages do appear, on the other hand. For example, the theft of urinals is far more unlikely here than in other pubs, due to the fact they are likely to smash on impact with the ground and therefore be useless. Removing annoying customers by throwing them out will be far more effective, and they are much less likely to just stagger back in.
All in all it would be an interesting venture to see through to the end.
February 16th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
I would normally thank you for providing material to snort hysterically over, but I was eating cheese at the time and my laptop is now copiously speckled with fatty smears.